Then, suddenly, they came: cranes, bulldozers, dirt-removing machines and trucks, equipment resembling sad, slow beasts and dinosaurs with the grrr sucked out of them and tamed by men in their club of yellow hats. The silly sad lot that sticks around never had a chance: the infamous squirrel-killing telephone pole was removed like a wart from a troubled complexion; the crater—scene of recent squirrel annihilation—was dug into and expanded. For six days a week for the last several months our little NoHo condo has shuddered and been shook as the lot next door sank under the weight of progress. The shaking in our home has resembled earth tremors and once, just when I was starting to get used to the walls speaking their new language and the floor adding comment and the dishes in the sink chiming in, just when I put T down for his morning nap, the real earth joined in with its own 5.8 quake that halted the workers and had the sleepless mother out on the balcony with her bleary-eyed son in her arms, exchanging a shaky thumbs-up with the crew.
And now?
A dug, dirt-emptied, smooth and tidy lot and, this Saturday: silence.
I stare out the window at the silent lot as T messes with his exer-saucer. Sipping coffee I never get right (2 scoops, 1 scoop, 5 scoops–makes no difference), being very Californian by placing myself in the “now”, when everything—even dug, ugly scraped lots—becomes beautiful for a few seconds, feeling strained from T waking at 4, 430, 515 and 630am, wondering how we’re going to get to Valley Village, I ask my husband (in a sort of murmured panic) where the metaphor is in our current view.
Oh my god, babe, he replies, lacing up his running shoes. Can’t you see it?
I swig coffee. For the love of Gloria Steinem, I’m a sleepless mother working on a dubious cup of Joe.
No, I reply tersely.
He is on his feet, pacing the living room, gesticulating, captivating T. I watch him, too. He’s inspiring when he’s passionate about things. Excitement and energy geyser forth, his eyes bright and intense behind those Jeff Goldblummy glasses (it’s all in the rims). I feel like Marian The Librarian to his very-Robert-Preston Music Man . It’s a number to behold. No, not a sales-job–but a song with heart.
New beginnings, he says (pacing). Progress, building up from nothing–classic cliches, babe–don’t you see them? That’s us, the lot is US, babe (he stops and points out the window and concludes with a simile)–like the big B for Bat Man in the sky! (no, he didn’t say that, I’m paraphrasing, but such was the drift)
I turn to the lot.
I can’t say that I don’t want him to be right. I can say I am an optimist-in-training. I can also say I want to be more than optimistic, especially for my son and the beginnings of his boundless energy.
I’m working on it–a little harder–each bitter-cup-of-coffee morning.
For the love of Shirley Maclaine, pb, it’s about time you cultivated some lasting optimism. As for your coffee making—have you tried cleaning out the filter?
Beautiful writing! So clear-eyed and true, evocative and colorful. More more.
And who is this wizard you married? We should all listen to him. I now have a new picture of your situation in NOHO thanks to the 2 of you.
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