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Archive for 26. April 2009
Obviously Even More Sleep Is Vital…
26. April 2009 by PB Rippey.
Yes, you heard me correctly. There’s no need to turn so pale, PB. It’s a simple truth. When it comes to your writing, you have me operating just on the outside.
You’re crazy! (pause) What do you mean?
I’m peripheral.
What? You are not peri–oofal. Shut up! You’re T’s daddy.
Who’s on the outside—
You’re NOT on any frikkin’ outside, metaphorical or—or otherwise! You’re—
Let me finish, PB?
YOU’RE NOT ON THE OUTSIDE!!! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU!!!
Don’t go all Gollum on me. Calm down. There, there. Here’s a smelly fish head. Shh, precious, shhhhhh.
(meek, whimpering) you’renotontheoutside…
It’s okay. I understand.
You—do?
Of course.
Oh. I’m so relieved. (pause) What do you understand?
That I’m a tool for your undertaking.
You’re—
A tool for your undertaking, yes. Oh, stop it. You know exactly what I mean.
Are you saying I write—faction? How could you! How could my own husband accuse me of—f-f-faction!!!
Get off that silly horse and talk to me face to face. And you might hold back on the exclamation points. I thought poets only got three of those in one lifetime. You’ve used at least 40 in the last minute—
I DO NOT WRITE FACTION!!!!!!!!!!! I AM HONEST WITH MY USE OF WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You’re loyal to your story. That’s fine, PB. I like your writing.
YOU ARE NOT PERIPHERALLLL!!! I DO NOT WRITE FACTION!!!
Shhh. You’ll wake the baby.
(head spinning around) Errrlggbraaannnnnlllfffff !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(sigh) Excuse me, PB. I’m going to hang out with some emmentaler slices and the New Yorker. Call me when your spaceship gets in.
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